As a general rule, I think prejudice is bad - I am greatly opposed to sexism, racism, ableism (duh), homophobia, etc. Go ahead and think of any sort of negative preconceived notion someone could have against a group of people, and it's a good bet that I'm going to think that having that negative preconceived notion is bad, and I'm going to search for it in myself and do my best to destroy it so I can be a more loving, accepting, understanding person. Except for male gynecologists. For the last seven years, I've thought male gynecologists could all go fuck themselves. I've had pretty bad experiences with three different male gynecologists in my life, which were:
With these experiences in mind, when Dr. Lady-Strange referred me to see a male urogynecologist who she said she trusted and thought was the best, I was skeptical. My skepticism grew when I saw his name and picture. Dr. Norbert Owen Body*. Dr. N. O. Body. Dr. Nobody. In his picture, his eyes seemed to bore through my skin, my organs, my bones, and into my soul, and then out through my back so ultimately he was looking at the wall behind me. That is some Batman villain shit. I had a follow-up appointment with Saint Claudia (my primary care provider who I literally trust with my life) anyway, so before scheduling with Dr. Nobody, I went to talk with her. She confirmed what Dr. Lady-Strange said: that Dr. Nobody was an expert and very well-respected and well-liked by his patients, and the best urogynecologist for me to see in the area. ...fuck. Fine. I'll schedule the appointment. As I mentioned in my last post, I've been going to pelvic floor physical therapy, which has been helping, and I've been hoping that the root issue I'm facing is Pelvic Floor Dysfunction rather than Interstitial Cystitis. I don't want to have to restrict my diet, and also I feel like I'll have more power to treat Pelvic Floor Dysfunction than Interstitial Cystitis. Also, I'm frightened of catheters. All of this adds up to me walking into this appointment with a lot of anxiety. ...which was refreshingly, blessedly, unneeded. When Dr. Nobody walked into the room, I was relieved to see that his photo was very unflattering because he had regular human eyes. The first thing he said was something like, "I understand that you're a complicated case, so I've made sure to clear extra time on my schedule to talk with you." He then allowed me to tell him, in my own words, what my symptoms are and their impact on my life, and what treatments I've tried. He did a great job of not interrupting me except to ask important clarifying questions, and really seemed to believe me and take everything I said at face value. Best of all, he knew a lot about hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. And I mean A LOT. Not in the "I saw that you have hEDS on your chart so I googled it before I walked in here" way. Not even in the "I watched a short lecture on youtube from a medical conference on hEDS" way. In the "I have actually studied this and understand it on a deep level" way. His nurse later mentioned to me that he has a particular fondness for complicated patients and enjoys the challenge, and that she could tell he was excited to be the doctor treating me and would definitely be researching my case on his own time. What a gift. And, the most delightful gift of all, he believes that my hEDS is at the root of these issues and that I do have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. He explained that though I do have a diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis, that there are different subtypes, and the subtype I have is called the "Pelvic Floor/Myofascial Pain Phenotype", which walks hand in hand with Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. This subtype shows less bladder inflammation than the other subtypes, and usually treatments involving bladder instillations don't work well (so, no catheters!). Also, usually patients with this subtype don't have many diet sensitivities (so, there is a very low likelihood that I'll have to restrict my diet!). Treatment involves a lot of pelvic floor physical therapy and controlling pain effectively to help calm down overactive nerves and muscles. Well, I'm always down for physical therapy and for feeling less pain. Sign me up, Dr. Nobody. The tall thin doctor and the glamourous primary care provider shake hands, while the glamorous primary care provider says, "Welcome to the club, Dr. Nobody." They are standing near a sign which reads "Grace's Healthcare Team Bi-Monthly Mixer", under which several other healthcare providers are gathered and chatting. Ultimately, the conclusion I've drawn from this experience is that prejudices are bad. Maybe Dr. Nobody will even defy the odds and get "canonized" one of these days. The other conclusion is to ask medical professionals you already trust to give you recommendations whenever possible, so that weird men don't tell you that your vagina is as snug as a bug in a rug. *Dr. Norbert Owen Body (Dr. Nobody) is not his real name. Out of respect, I try to avoid identifying anyone too specifically on this blog. I do assure you, though, that Dr. Nobody's real name is incredibly Batman-villain-esque.
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Grace Daly
I'm young, hot, and have multiple chronic illnesses. Come with me on this magical fucking journey. Archives
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