If your body is your home, then I have a really shitty roommate. See, some people work really hard to keep their homes perfect. These people are your typical health nuts. Most people, though, just do a medium-to-minimal amount of work to keep their homes good enough to live in. This is most able-bodied people. Every once in awhile, you might have someone who trashes their home to the point where it gets really damaged, with mold or holes in the wall or something. Making unhealthy choices can definitely lead to that. But I have a shitty roommate, who comes in and fucks up my home for no reason whatsoever. You might be thinking, "oh, but what if I get a cold or something? That messes up my body-home!" And yes, it does, but having a cold is more like a crappy house guest. Your crappy house guest will leave in a week or so. My shitty roommate is here forever. When I was younger, my shitty roommate mostly stayed in its room. Every once in awhile it would come out and throw some trash around, but to be honest, I didn't even think I had a roommate - just a frequent crappy house guest. When I got into my later teen years, my roommate started to get angry that I wouldn't acknowledge it. It would frequently come out to break my stuff and piss on the rug. I would still deny I had a roommate though. I thought that I just lacked self-discipline... after all, I didn't have proof that it wasn't me who pissed on the rug. It was probably my fault somehow that there was piss on my rug. Nobody else I knew had piss on their rugs. I just had to try harder to not get piss on my rugs. Sometime in my early twenties, my shitty roommate decided to leave its room and never return, spending 100% of its time in my room or the shared living spaces. My shitty roommate started to fuck up the place with a real sense of purpose - and every time our home was a mess, it would make my shitty roommate furious, and it would trash the place even more. This lead to a really shitty cycle. Eventually, I started to go to roommate eviction specialists. However, a lot of the roommate eviction specialists had trouble finding my roommate, or thought I had a different type of roommate than I actually had, or thought my roommate was all in my head. When I had to stay home and clean up after my roommate instead of going to parties or to work, people thought I was being lazy or melodramatic. After all, they had never seen my roommate and most people don't have roommates. Why was I making such a big deal about my roommate? Why couldn't I just clean a little more regularly? A lot of people who always kept their houses immaculately clean kept telling me all sorts of different things I should try. Have I cleaned with vinegar instead of harsh chemicals? Have I tried feng shui? Did I know how to do laundry? Nothing ever worked. I felt very alone, with only a shitty roommate that I couldn't prove existed for company. Eventually, I started to find roommate eviction specialists who tried harder to locate my roommate. These roommate eviction specialists do everything they can to help, but can't get rid of my roommate completely. Even though I still have a shitty roommate, at least now I can point to it for people who don't believe me, and I know things that I can do to slow it down when it's trying to ruin our home. Recently, my best roommate eviction specialist told me that I likely can't keep working - that for me to keep my house from falling apart as my shitty roommate tries to destroy it, I'm going to have to work at cleaning it full-time. I'm really upset about this - how could a roommate I didn't even know existed ten years ago keep me from leading the life I want to lead? Did I do something to deserve this shitty roommate? Why did this shitty roommate choose my house to shack up in? I'll probably never have a good answer for those questions. Even if I had the answers, it wouldn't change the fact that this is the only home I have, and so I don't really have a choice about what to do. My mental-health roommate co-habitation specialist has been helping me to understand that I shouldn't keep battling my roommate. I need to get know my roommate and learn to listen to it in order to find any kind of peace. So that's what I'm going to be trying to do. Come with me on this magical fucking journey.
1 Comment
Annette McLean
11/18/2019 05:30:37 am
Nice job! Would like to follow your blog Grace. Love the metaphor!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Grace Daly
I'm young, hot, and have multiple chronic illnesses. Come with me on this magical fucking journey. Archives
March 2020
Categories
All
|